Being Sick

I think we've all been sick at some point in our lives. A cold, maybe something serious, like a pain that gets managed and results in surgery. But recently I was really sick, and it has been a moment I'm not sure I'm even recovered from.

You go through moments in your life that make you wonder what things are all about. It rocks you to the core of your mortality.

I sometimes forget that I'm just human. Just a guy trying to make it through each day, working, exercising, and doing the normal things.
I wonder though, what is it all for? I'm not married, I don't have a girlfriend, no kids, pets, plants, or anything that really relies on me.
I was in the ER and they told me they couldn't keep me at the hospital I was in, and I would have to go to a bigger one. The pain was unbearable and I didn't care, just needed relief. And it was in that moment, I thought about, who do I matter to? I could die right here tonight, and really, I would just be a footnote in a page of life. Sure my Mom would care, I thought, but at that moment my life flashed before my eyes.

I have a lot of friends, and I am grateful beyond words for them all.

I posted on Facebook to let people know I was sick. I knew when I posted, it could be my last post for a while, but fortunately it wasn't. I didn't have any answers to what was happening yet, but I felt I needed to communicate. I didn't have anyone to speak for me. And I worried at the same time that I was coming across as someone seeking sympathy, when I wasn't. Just someone telling my friends that I'm in bad shape. And people realized that fact quickly.

The outpouring of support was amazing, knowing that my friends have my back was just the best feeling as I went through the process.

I was offered rides home from the hospital, food and whatever I needed. So many great people that I'm lucky to have in my life.

And while I lament a life being alone, the takeaway is that you are not really alone if you don't want to be. We choose to isolate ourselves. We choose to protect our identity from our friends at times thinking that we don't want to be a bother. We think why would we push ourselves on people like that.

The people who are in your life that are your friends will be there and stand by you. Support comes in many different ways, so don't expect everyone to act or react the same. But in the end, your friends will be there.