Male in his late 40’s, single again, now dating talking to his now single female friends over 50 about dating.
Last night I had a conversation with some folks about the whole dating scene, and particularly online dating. I was told I was a pessimist about online dating, but truth is I’m a realist.
I think that online dating and lottery winning chances are comparable in many ways.
Most people win lessor prizes and it happens all the time. You win that $20 scratch off and think you’ve struck gold for 5 minutes only to pour that money back in to see if you can really strike it rich then next time. But, after you loose, you wish you had the $20 back in your pocket.
But online dating tends to be pretty superficial. We look at a photo, we swipe left or right. Maybe there is a profile and we see they like everything we like, but hey, they like country music or rap… moving on. Or we filter out great opportunities completely… 50 years+
At what point do you move the upper end of your search, especially if you are a guy?
Age is a factor of how you see yourself. Sure we know lots of great relationships with age disparity, but when you consider the factors of vitality, worldliness, experience, open mindedness, and knowing that partner could possibly be there for the long term, what goes through your mind?
The scariest thing in dating is pure honesty.
It’s a very harsh thing to be judged by strangers who really don’t know you. And you don’t want to waste your time, but at the same token, you don’t need to spill your guts about everything. Of course somethings are a must, like STI status. And that brings me to my big point.
Sex driven dating.
You look at a site like Tinder, and almost every woman on there writes “not looking for a hookup” and Tinder is known to be a hookup site, so it’s like what the fuck are you thinking.
So friends who are looking in places like OKCupid and Match.com which are the same company these days find that guys are really motivated by sex. Hooking up is part of the end game for many. Not saying all, but depending on the situation, it really is what should be an expectation that women have from a dating site. And I’m speaking from the experience that my female friends tell me.
Women do want to have sex, but generally speaking, sex is on the terms of the women. I can’t think of a dating situation where the woman says, I want to fuck, and the guy says, I think we should wait for a few dates, and see how it goes. It probably happens, but not often.
Dating and being with someone is about feeling a little bit more special, because you hope you mean something to someone. You want each day to wake up knowing that someone actually gives a fuck that you are on this planet. And it’s nice to know that you may be in the arms of that person hugging and enjoying each other’s company day after day, because as I have been quoted before,
The purpose of life is to love.
But as we join the online dating pools, buyer beware. You will have to hunt for the diamonds in the rough. And they are out there. But you will find a lot of false ones along the way. But when you find that precious one, hold on tight to that.
But if you exhaust the pool of online dating, and many will become frustrated with it, develop your personality, and find relationships organically. My best experiences have been from meeting people in real life and they have been the great source of friendship and love.