The Side of History

America has for the most part been on the progressive side of history. We have fought against tyranny and we have won. But never before have we seen such a weak response to hate and violence than from the President of the US as we have in this time of upheaval.

I take a stand right! I do not tolerate, hate and violence. Racism has no place in America or anywhere.

Taking a stand against white supremacist and their kind should be as easy as taking a stand against any other kind of terrorism. If you can not see it for what it is, then you may need to look inside yourself.

I think the hardest thing to realize is how many people I know that share this racist view. This “heritage not hate” philosophy needs to change. That war is over. If we haven’t healed and moved on from the civil war, we have big problems.

But the Civil War is a red herring to white supremacy/hate groups. They hide behind that to put forward the notion that whites are being attacked.

This is about Power and Pecking order. It always has been about being afraid, it’s about a class war. See

That article comes from the right leaning America Enterprise Institute.

But in the end as Prager University explains, Slavery ultimately is the reason for the civil war.

I think when you put it in context and research the history, this is not something anyone should embrace as their heritage. There is a lot of great things about the south that is heritage, but slavery and the civil war isn’t one of them.

Take a stand today, be a proud American, not a confederate.

Three Talk Love

She (Sarah), him (Joel) and her (Paula) sat having coffee, talking love.

"You don't know what love is." Sarah said.

"What is love? Actions or feeling?" Replied Joel.

"That is this the question isn't it? How you feel and what you express. They are different. Two separate aspects, both part of love."

Joel suggest, "Puppy love is probably the purest love there is. We may think it is not a mature love, but what other love comes upon another so pure?"

"Joel, you and your puppies!" Cried Paula.

"Well it's true!"

"It's true that you can't stop loving someone." Said Sarah.

"What IS true, is that love stays in my heart forever. "

"Even with an Ex?" Sarah retorted.

"Do you love your kids any less when they disappoint you? Hurt you? Love changes. Sarah maybe you refer to passion. Even marriages can have reduced fire, even if two people love each other. Sometimes roads traveled with another create a bond. Is that bond love? I guess if you choose to bind yourself to the relationship."

Joel paused a moment and then said, "What about you two? Every man is told that women are attracted to power and money. "

Sarah was first to speak, "Sure, money, power, if I'm a whore that can be bought. Men who see themselves as a reflection of their wallet and the women who follow after that are both quite shallow."

Paula followed up, "I agree, but you can love someone who can't provide. If you see your life with someone, long term, that money is a reflection of drive. It's the man's outward expression of his care. Because we worry about taking care of things like a roof over our head."

"But isn't that putting the cart before the horse?" Joel asked.

"Why invest time in a man who will never be a man?" Paula said.

"Why not look to see what is in a man's heart and nurture that? Can you see the value in something before you squeeze that value out?" Joel pressed Paula.

Sarah said, "Love is love. And you love who you love. Joel, you know that. People marry for lots of logical reasons, and Paula, sure, both men and women do that. But we were talking about Love. In its purest sense, two people can make it work, if that's what they want. It's all that logic that usually fucks things up."

Joel said, "I don't really know why I have loved who I've loved. But I have to admit, I do believe in love at first site. I know within an instant of walking in a room and hearing a woman's voice, seeing her smile, just watching her way…. I know if there is an attraction."

"And does that ever change? Because you guys can look at a naked woman and be aroused." Said Paula.

"Maybe, when you're 12! You two act as if fucking and love are the same thing. I assure you I mean that when I see a particular woman that I am attracted to, I just know. It's like magical chemistry. Come on, Sarah, tell me it isn't the same for you."

"It's generally not the same. I hangout with a guy and then after some time, it hits me, he's what I'm looking for. Maybe because I want to make sure that he's not just trying to weasel his weasel. Ha ha!"

"Well Sarah, I don't have a problem meeting a guy I find attractive and getting busy with him, if I find him attractive. But it's on my terms." Said Paula.

"Well you ladies are complicated. Love is complicated. But I guess the truth is we all have different thoughts, and see things in different ways. Probably won't get to the bottom of this tonight… who's up for shots!"

48 today

Here I am with my annual blog post to celebrate my journey around the sun.
As I reflect, 47 was a pretty banner year in my world.

  • Completed my Masters Degree
  • Organized a High School Reunion
  • Organized a 5K Race as a director
  • Served on community boards.

Then last week I almost met my own end with a pretty bad illness. While maybe I just thought of it as a bad sore throat, I have been repeatedly told how lucky I am to be alive. And that has not fallen on deaf ears at all.

So what else have I learned in a year? What to remind myself each year as time goes by?

I know that what I want to bring to any friendship, any relationship, is the additive. Let me part of enriching your life. There is no need for completing someone. I know this lesson well. It's the same story of the missing piece meeting the Big O.

Let's roll together, because we roll well. It's not about needs or wants. I have so few of those. But it is nice sometimes to roll with someone who wants to roll in your direction.

Everyone has different dreams. They don't have to be the same in order to find people who add to your life. They just have to keep supporting you on your journey. Those are the precious and special ones that I want around me. Nothing better than someone who challenges you a little and loves you a lot. And does so for no other reason than you make them smile.

So here at 48, I don't worry about anything, because after last week, I realize that I am iron and I am dust. We think we are forever and in an instant we can be gone. So say the I love you's, smile at everyone, and be glad to be alive. We are so lucky to be.

Sending love to you, universe! Because you get what you give, or so I'm lead to believe.

Love! ❤️

Being Sick

I think we've all been sick at some point in our lives. A cold, maybe something serious, like a pain that gets managed and results in surgery. But recently I was really sick, and it has been a moment I'm not sure I'm even recovered from.

You go through moments in your life that make you wonder what things are all about. It rocks you to the core of your mortality.

I sometimes forget that I'm just human. Just a guy trying to make it through each day, working, exercising, and doing the normal things.
I wonder though, what is it all for? I'm not married, I don't have a girlfriend, no kids, pets, plants, or anything that really relies on me.
I was in the ER and they told me they couldn't keep me at the hospital I was in, and I would have to go to a bigger one. The pain was unbearable and I didn't care, just needed relief. And it was in that moment, I thought about, who do I matter to? I could die right here tonight, and really, I would just be a footnote in a page of life. Sure my Mom would care, I thought, but at that moment my life flashed before my eyes.

I have a lot of friends, and I am grateful beyond words for them all.

I posted on Facebook to let people know I was sick. I knew when I posted, it could be my last post for a while, but fortunately it wasn't. I didn't have any answers to what was happening yet, but I felt I needed to communicate. I didn't have anyone to speak for me. And I worried at the same time that I was coming across as someone seeking sympathy, when I wasn't. Just someone telling my friends that I'm in bad shape. And people realized that fact quickly.

The outpouring of support was amazing, knowing that my friends have my back was just the best feeling as I went through the process.

I was offered rides home from the hospital, food and whatever I needed. So many great people that I'm lucky to have in my life.

And while I lament a life being alone, the takeaway is that you are not really alone if you don't want to be. We choose to isolate ourselves. We choose to protect our identity from our friends at times thinking that we don't want to be a bother. We think why would we push ourselves on people like that.

The people who are in your life that are your friends will be there and stand by you. Support comes in many different ways, so don't expect everyone to act or react the same. But in the end, your friends will be there.