LGBTQ because we all are…

Above all, love. Our failure to treat others with dignity and respect will be the downfall of our nation. The more we create divisions among our family and friends, the more we bleed and hurt.

Today Trump announced that Transsexual members of the Armed forces would no longer be allowed to serve. This is the kind of nonsense that does this country damage.

I will be the first to admit, I grew up in the Navy with some very conservative values, and I was the liberal among conservatives. But in the Submarine force, they weren't accepting of gays or women, and honestly minorities of any status. Here I was, someone of the Jewish faith out at sea on a Submarine, and for most, I was the first Jewish person these guys had ever met. I was an ambassador in a way. What I did and how I acted mattered a lot.

So getting back to the LGBTQ community, people thing that the entire military will be exclusively made up of LGBTQ. That would not be the case. I'm sure that few would meet someone Trans, but people will definitely meet LGB&Q people. And my guess is the numbers are much higher than people would ever guess or know.

Military life is hard enough without a President making it harder for the people who want to stand by and defend this land. The soldiers and sailors who are protecting our constitutional rights; The men and women who love America and are willing to give up their very life to defend it; they deserve to be treated like everyone else.

We need to stop turning the clocks backward. Every thing from allowing Gays to openly serve to having women in combat are positive steps to a uniform service that can leverage diversity in all its forms. We are bogged down in sex and sexuality and not about finding qualified soldiers and sailors who can perform.

You really don't know your neighbors if you hide out and never meet them. We are better than this. Because this hatred becomes an infection. It isn't who we are. Love your neighbor as yourself.

So judge a little less and love a little more, after all, we can grow.

Fitness…

This AM was my 4th day in a row of doing some sort of exercise. Started Tuesday with a 5K in the evening. Then another on on Wednesday. Yesterday I swam at the pool a few laps (boy that was hard) and today was my beach cross fit thing. 

So yay! I worked out. But honestly, I still feel so out of shape.  I like running because I can gauge my progress by watching my pace. It’s not about being competitive with anyone else except myself. I don’t want to be out of breathe so easily. I want to be able to have the stamina to go the distance. 

It’s not about washboard abs or anything like that. It’s about being able to touch your toes. It’s about being able to not see your belly, but your business. 

I know that weight is a struggle.

 It’s a struggle for everyone.

 You hit 18 and then life changes. Have kids, a spouse or just a busy life and exercise and diet can quickly fly out the window. But how do you change yourself and get to where you want to be? We set goals and for good or bad, fitness goals lose out in time management. Deadlines loom and making time for ourself becomes the first thrilling killed. Laying on the couch becomes more desireable. I know, I’m a victim of the carnivorous couch that gobbles up it’s relaxing victims whole. 
The best thing to help with staying active is have workout partners and accountability friends to keep you motivated. 

The struggle is real, but we can struggle together. 

Sometimes it’s having friends to remind us that we can do it, that provide encouragement are what’s important. And they can provide some smack talk along the way to remind us to get our butts in gear. 

So don’t give up on your fitness goals, because fitness is more than just how much you weigh, it’s strength, it’s core, it’s flexibility. 

Dating around 50

Male in his late 40’s, single again, now dating talking to his now single female friends over 50 about dating. 

Last night I had a conversation with some folks about the whole dating scene, and particularly online dating.  I was told I was a pessimist about online dating, but truth is I’m a realist. 

I think that online dating and lottery winning chances are comparable in many ways. 

Most people win lessor prizes and it happens all the time. You win that $20 scratch off and think you’ve struck gold for 5 minutes only to pour that money back in to see if you can really strike it rich then next time. But, after you loose, you wish you had the $20 back in your pocket. 

But online dating tends to be pretty superficial. We look at a photo, we swipe left or right. Maybe there is a profile and we see they like everything we like, but hey, they like country music or rap… moving on. Or we filter out great opportunities completely… 50 years+ 

At what point do you move the upper end of your search, especially if you are a guy?

Age is a factor of how you see yourself.  Sure we know lots of great relationships with age disparity, but when you consider the factors of vitality, worldliness, experience, open mindedness, and knowing that partner could possibly be there for the long term, what goes through your mind?

The scariest thing in dating is pure honesty. 

It’s a very harsh thing to be judged by strangers who really don’t know you. And you don’t want to waste your time, but at the same token, you don’t need to spill your guts about everything. Of course somethings are a must, like STI status. And that brings me to my big point. 

Sex driven dating. 

You look at a site like Tinder, and almost every woman on there writes “not looking for a hookup” and Tinder is known to be a hookup site, so it’s like what the fuck are you thinking. 

So friends who are looking in places like OKCupid and Match.com which are the same company these days find that guys are really motivated by sex. Hooking up is part of the end game for many. Not saying all, but depending on the situation, it really is what should be an expectation that women have from a dating site. And I’m speaking from the experience that my female friends tell me. 

Women do want to have sex, but generally speaking, sex is on the terms of the women.  I can’t think of a dating situation where the woman says, I want to fuck, and the guy says, I think we should wait for a few dates, and see how it goes. It probably happens, but not often. 

Dating and being with someone is about feeling a little bit more special, because you hope you mean something to someone. You want each day to wake up knowing that someone actually gives a fuck that you are on this planet. And it’s nice to know that you may be in the arms of that person hugging and enjoying each other’s company day after day, because as I have been quoted before, 

The purpose of life is to love. 

But as we join the online dating pools, buyer beware. You will have to hunt for the diamonds in the rough. And they are out there. But you will find a lot of false ones along the way. But when you find that precious one, hold on tight to that. 

But if you exhaust the pool of online dating, and many will become frustrated with it, develop your personality, and find relationships organically. My best experiences have been from meeting people in real life and they have been the great source of friendship and love.